History....A Great Teacher

History can be a great teacher...of course I know that now...but I didn't know it when I was a teenager...I wouldn't say I thought I knew it all, but I really wanted 2 prove some words spoken over my life for the LIES that they were. Not that I understood anything of what I am about 2 tell u at that time...But if I can help one young girl or boy understand how important it is 2 not cross the line or over step the boundaries that your parents have set for your lives, then everything that I went through would be worth it......
At the age of 16 I begin dating... I wouldn't say I had my mother's full consent in this but it was the age that I decided I was mature enough 2 date...My mother (though reluctant) allowed me 2 date and in the process of that I became pregnant with my firstborn child...How did that happen u may ask? well come along with me and I will tell u my story....Of course we all know that there is always 2 sides 2 every story...AND THIS ONE IS MY SIDE:
It was one crazy day in high school. My friends and I were having a great time running up and down the halls, passing notes and u know doing our thing flirting with the boys!(in between classes) If we weren't doing that we were telling each other how fine this one was or that one was...I think u get the point. And out of no where comes this young man who for some reason captivated me. I had never saw him in my elementary days.So I knew he wasn't from Kansas ...He was one of the guys that my friends never really viewed as someone that they would date. He was more like a friend 2 them (which is why he got my attention)...And so I decided that it was up 2 me 2 get his attention! (silly me) I got up enough nerve 2 write him a note, so that the next time I passed him in the hall I would slip it 2 him (and I did). Sometimes us girls just think we need 2 take action and make things happen...Trust me if I knew what I know now...or better yet if I would have just listened 2 the wise counsel of my mother let's just say some things in my life may have turned out different! Anyways in my letter 2 him I let him know that I was interested in him, I asked him out, gave him my phone number, and waited...and waited...and I waited...Finally when I was on the verge of giving up I get the phone call! He of course decided that we could date...I was so excited! words can't express the energy that was running through my veins when I got the "Yes I will go out with u" I was happy...It wasn't long before I was doing everything that I could 2 spend my time with him...I was so consumed with being with him... I would stay the night with certain friends or hang out with them (which ever one my mother would allow) Just 2 be with him...I know by now u can see where this is going...Which is why now I tell u teens 2 "never awaken love until it pleases" I didn't know it then but I know now that at the age of 16, though I thought I was mature enough 2 date I really wasn't....But when your a teen for some reason u tend 2 know what is best for u...(that is called minor brain damage) Most teenagers suffer from it..It goes away only as u mature and experience life a bit.... It wasn't long before the physical affection started between us...bear with me here ok I am trying 2 reach at least one young life...After a few nights and months of kissing we decided it was time 2 take it 2 the next level....Mind u his mother allowed me 2 be there alone with him...Heck in one of my most critically needy times in life I was able 2 stay over at his place for days over spring break! (Not recommended under no circumstance!)...When I say my most critical time, I mean I had lost my mother in one night, and ended up at his house along with my 2 younger brothers and baby sister...Which was nice of them 2 do for us. I am very grateful that he and his family were able 2 be there for me at such a transitioning time in my life...Cause life as I knew it ended that day! Me not knowing what would happen from there I gave him all of me...(again silly me)  I know u may be thinking get 2 the point already...As I said before bear with me, I'm trying 2 help one life at least...Before I knew it I had emotions that were so strong and me being only 16 didn't know how 2 control them so I of course let them run wild...I only cared about him at the time and anything anyone else got from me were left overs....Yeah I gave him some of the best parts of me in my young ignorance and I am sure he did the same with me...It wasn't long before I realized that my monthly cycle was extremely late and that it most likely wasn't going 2 show up anytime soon...At least not until the little human that was within me was due 2 make it's big entrance into this world, And when I say big I do mean BIG!...But we will get back 2 that part a little later.  I was so consumed in being with him and my devotion 2 him that I didn't realize that he and his family hated Kansas and had been planning 2 move back where they were from all along...need I say it again? (silly me) With that said, as teenager sometimes u just don't think things through or count the cost before u do them...I thought he shared the same passion for me as I did him and that life would go on with him happily ever after...Well my fairy tale ended when I told my knight in shining armor(at the time) that I thought I was pregnant...He informed me that we didn't need 2 say anything 2 anyone until we had proof...(meaning until I got a test 2 prove it) I of course listened and did it his way...Not saying a word 2 anyone...yeah it was our little secret! In the mean time he and his family were packing up and moving on...Sounds so rewarding so far doesn't it?? In case your wondering...I got that proof and he was miles away when I got it....I had 2 mail him the results, which he in turn continued 2 hide it from his mother...Of course things were said and even though I spent most of my time with him every day that I could, all of sudden the baby was not his and they just wasn't sure...I'm still today trying 2 figure that one out! But everyone has their own way of processing things...Here is how I had 2 process it...While his family was trying 2 convince him that the baby wasn't his...I knew in my heart of hearts he knew the child that I carried was his...However he was not bold or brave enough 2 admit it....Maybe he was afraid (I know I was)...Yet I didn't have the option 2 deny the child, walk away from it, or look for the escape route out...(abortion was not an option.. period!)..I was having this baby and it was 2 late 2 say no take it back...All the while fighting with my knight and shining armor(at the time) and his family...I hope your starting 2 get the point so far....Unfortunately I ended up bearing this burden alone...When I say alone I mean without him...I didn't have time 2 fight about if the baby was his or not...Especially when he was whispering in my ear over the phone from miles away that he knew the baby was his... Interesting isn't it? Because it was so very different when his mother was around...If u could only imagine my pain as well as my shame...I thought here I had given him the best of me (at the time) and here I am having 2 prove it when months ago he was enjoying the benefits of my givings...Crazy right?? It is indeed...When I was young my mother never really explained 2 me the reason why I shouldn't "awaken love until it pleases"...she just said don't do it....In her absence I did it....To bring this 2 an end for now When it was time 2 deliver the little human within me who was coming 2 months early whether I was ready or not....I begin 2 hemmorage, my body shook terribly beyond my control, and I was cold...I had no idea what was happening.  However from the reaction of one of my older sisters I knew this wasn't the way a normal deliver begin...When we made it 2 the E.R. we were informed that the baby and I were both at risk of dying...And as they were rolling me into the operating room and right before the anesthesia kicked in I remember the nurse telling me that I had lost a lot of blood and that my placenta was trying 2 be born before the baby and that if they had 2 choose on which one of us they would save it would be me and then I was out!....Guess what??? when I woke up not even remembering where I was or what had happened 2 me...The same nurse that told me that they would save me before they would my baby was the same one who was waiting 2 tell me that I had a baby girl and that she was 4lbs and some ounces..(can't remember the exact oz)...I remembered then where I was and reality kicked in and guess who I thought of after I made it through one of the most frightening times of my life...U guessed it my knight in shining armor(at the time)...Who was not there and if u remember wasn't even taking responsibility for his part of the package....So Attention all teenagers Think about it...those moments of pleasure can cause u much pain later on in life..."NEVER AWAKEN LOVE UNTIL IT PLEASES" Meaning until your in a committed marital relationship... My firstborn child has been my greatest joy on this earth I love her beyond measure..And though the man who assisted in producing her was not there for her...God blessed her with an Amazing Father: Keith Allen Aipperspach who willingly and lovingly accepted her as though she was from his own blood with no fight or struggle...But Total ACCEPTANCE! This is only a small part of my HISTORY and I do pray that for someone(teenager) it has been a GREAT TEACHER!