Unknown

I haven't blogged in awhile. Mainly because sometimes when people say they want to know who you are they don't really mean they want to know the real you, but rather the person they perceive you to be. So basically some fictional being they have imagined you to be. A person with no room to grow, without mistakes, or just one of they can make into their idol or castaway. When in reality there has only been One who was actually perfect on this earth.  His name is JESUS. If you are ages 13 and above you have most likely heard of Him, but to you He may be "Unknown" And after the past 7 years I can honestly say I truly know what it feels like to be "Unkown" I say this because just when think you have given your all it just still doesn't seem to be enough for the world we live in today. After all JESUS gave His all and still today for some that wasn't enough.  "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole wide world and lose his own soul?" (Mark 8:36) I believe most of you know the answer to that question. I know I'm not the only person who feels like they are "Unknown" and I won't be the last. However I also know that there is only one who truly knows me. JESUS CHRIST is His name and acceptance is His game! He knows who you are and He knows where you are. When you know Him it's quite alright to be "Unknown" by mankind.

Your Song...How Are You Singing It?

I have opened my eyes to a new day and I am very grateful for such an opportunity to live this day because I am not certain I will have tomorrow...I've always known that I was created for God's pleasure and  that I am to worship Him with my life, but I've recently learned that my life is a song being played out before Him daily.

Yes we all are singing a song to God with our lives...Sometimes we are on key and have the perfect pitch and then there are those days that we just simply hit the wrong note and need the director(GOD) to get us back in tune..

I am reminded of David so often when I make mistakes...Maybe  because he was "A man after God's own heart" and still messed up is why I admire him...David did a lot of great things but seems to be recognized for his mistakes rather then the good that He did...I love the bible, it definitely shows us just how imperfect we all are.

I also love to sing but when I get off key or miss my note I tend to not like it so much or I work on getting it right.  I'm not too fond of reading a song and singing it that way, but I will sing the words by reading them until they are in my heart...When I get the song down in my heart I sing it with confidence even if I don't have the perfect pitch. All that matters is that I have the words down in my heart, they mean more to me then just reading them, and though I may hit the wrong note at times I will get back in tune eventually...

I now ask myself daily how did you sing your song today?  Sometimes I can smile or laugh about the notes that I missed or the super high pitch attempts that I sometimes try. At times I even cry because  no matter what I try I just can't seem to get the rhythm of a certain song that I'd like to sing ...Those are the moments when I know the answer to how I sung my song for the day...

 When I absolutely cannot hit a note in spite of all my efforts...I know it was not my part of the song to sing... You have a song that you sing....Today I ask you How Are You Singing It?  

Misplaced Values.....

Today is a day of new beginnings for me...I've made up my mind 2 dig up all the values I've either lost, forgotten, or misplaced and place them in their rightful places.....In our world today Values have been misplaced for LIES...The world is teaching our children through the media, games and music that it's their right to talk 2 their parents or anybody they choose 2 any way they see fit. By spoon feeding them the Lie that being out of control, with no discipline, and acting stupid will get u what you want in life...My advice to the youth today is: ask an adult who's parent's didn't care and just allowed them 2 rule the roost at home...I can assure u that if they could trade in lack of discipline for discipline they'd choose discipline...if not they still have misplaced values!  Not only is our world working it's twisted values on our children....But it is also spoon feeds women the Lie that being loud, disrespectful, and dominant towards men and other people will get them the love, respect, affection, and self-esteem they need and deserve.... But coming from a background of battered women I know all 2 well that only makes things worse.... and definitely doesn't draw any respectable prospect of a man towards u, but draws them away from u....So now would be a great time 2 stop allowing "Bad Girls" to influence ur lives...It also feeds our men Lies about women with the porn, the airbrushing on magazines, and plastic surgery..Since men are sight stimulated it creates the false illusion that women are not complicated, emotional, human, and are only here for their sexual pleasures...That is a Lie...learn 2 love the woman ur with as the valuable and unique jewel that she is ....Every woman is different but we can all be a bit of a puzzle....we all have the same basic needs...as is the same with men...Every man is different but all have the same basic needs but pretty simple... Not only do we have misplaced values in the way we speak and treat others ...Now we have bought the Lie that technology is the main or best source of communication....They are literally trying 2 convince us now that the only way 2 find a perfect match is 2 go online and find ur soul-mate WITHOUT THE WORK! Lazy...if u don't work at  the relationship it doesn't matter what u put on an online profile it could still possibly be a road that leads 2 disaster...I know there may be some out there who have found their mate online but that isn't the best way 2 do it...I prefer the work...The value on that is priceless! Also technology has been used to bully, exploit, spy, stalk, harass, u name it....The value of communication has been misplaced with a LIE....I prefer face 2 face..I text and I even use technology 2 my advantage...I'm just simply saying it needs 2 be put in it's rightful place...without the towers and electricity technology would be JUNK...so why not take the time 2 establish true relations with people by speaking with ur mouth rather then using ur fingers to hit send....There are other misplaced values like human life...the world says it's not sacred u can dispose of it if u want through abortion, murder, or terrorist attacks....LIFE IS SACRED...no one should ever feel it's their right 2 take the life of another....I do believe it is necessary in war because so many have given their lives so that I may enjoy the freedom we all have today or in self defense and protection circumstances...But 2 just out right take a life that is FOOLISH! and a misplaced value.....I know that there may be some of u who have chosen 2 keep ur values and that is great....Values are like Landmarks....Blueprints....The Way.....Security....and I could go on about the misplaced values but the funny thing is if u have facebook, a cell phone, computer, twitter, or TV u already know the values that have been misplaced....Will u continue 2 follow the blind into a life and world of disaster or will u wake up and get ur misplaced values in order and in there rightful places....I am always learning daily....I am constantly getting wisdom, and understanding....When a value has been misplaced there is only one thing 2 do and that is put it in it's rightful place....and for the values that are junk throw them out! cause that's what u do with junk.....

Tuned Out...In the Pit

After all I have learned in my life previously and recently. I can't stress enough how important your words and how you choose to treat others affects us all.   Sometimes how we perceive something is just not how it really is.
Hearts are fragile no matter who you are....It is in my opinion and maybe even my gender, the most fragile part of a person.
Growing up in my elementary and jr high days it was common to say the very STUPID phrase "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."  From my own personal experiences I can tell you that though I would say it or even participate with an action that lead up to it being said.. I was hurting to the core...But we were deceived into believing that if we said it or did it then it would ease our pain.  When in reality it intensifies it.  Most of the time if the words or actions come from someone you don't care about you are able to forget it and move on..However when it comes from those you love or even like it can place you in a pit.  A pit you weren't aware you were in until you've attempted to climb out of it only to  find yourself continually slipping....My pit had to have begun 5 yrs ago...Since then I find myself climbing its walls only to slip and fall again...Yet it is amazing to me how my heart continues to endure.  Even though I am in it I still  manage to reach out to those in need, strive to help them, and encourage them out of their pit....But even in doing so I have learned that people see what they want, hear what they want, do what they want, and say what they want...And while they are doing it they still expect you to climb out and help them and jump back in when your done, only to walk away and leave you to fend for yourself.  They come back to you repeatedly and yell down they are throwing you a rope because now pulling you out benefits them....Sometimes they don't even know they are doing it...That's the crazy part...Sometimes they can't hear your heartbeat, your gasps for air, your cries, or pleas because they have always relied on you.  In the midst of your screams for help you realize no one is listening...They just pass you by as if they have adapted to your cries...I believe this is how suicide can so easily creep in and claim a life prematurely...After awhile of crying out you began to lose your voice, your throat gets dry, and your now whimpering.  Hoping someone hears you before it's too late.  Before you dehydrate, starve, or just simply give up.
I can tell you I have no intentions of giving up I will get out of my pit...But now I understand what God meant when He said it is not good that anyone should be alone or when He said 2 is better then 1.   I understand it because I live it everyday.... I know that there are several out there and near who care about me and for that I am very grateful..  Yet there are those who claim to know me but can't hear my heartbeat, pleas, or pulse...I don't believe it is from a lack of hearing but rather adapting to the sound and simply Tuning Out the pain of another.....
Life happens to us all even the best of us.  But I am a listener and when I hear the heartbeat, pleas, or pulse of another who's hurting I listen...yes I like to talk, but I listen to the very core of the person (if allowed), and try to be apart of the solution needed at the time....Now I said all of that not for your pity but rather your action to be someone's solution...My questions to you all today is: Are you listening to the heartbeat and the pulse of those in need Or have you grown so accustom to the sound of their need that you have Tuned them Out?  If so ask yourself what if it were you?  Don't Tune people out  and leave them in the pit.  No throw them a rope and help them get out you just may save a life....or give them hope to go on...

Offence Will Come...

Hello if ur reading this I take it the titled grabbed ur attention...And if it did GREAT!....I'm all about helping people to be their best....When I learn something I love to share it...I always have the thought in mind that if it helped me surely it can help someone else...So I am definitely not selfish. Actually with as large of a family I grew up with there was no place or room for selfishness...I am happy to have had that opportunity by the way...If u have ever been around a selfish person u understand what I mean. This may not be for any of u out there, but I am not above learning and I believe I learn something new everyday. Whether it be from a book, a song, or person I learn daily...Since our brains never stop maturing until the day we die I will continue to maturely learn until then. So this blog just may be for me but it just may help someone else as well...
I have surely had my share of offences in life and I am certain that I have offended many...But now I know that to allow myself to be offended can be a dangerous trap that can lead to bitterness, resentment, and oh yes unforgiveness...Which I have learned just isn't worth the time and effort that we can sometimes put into it...Just think about it...Let's use our lovely world of social networking. It is the greatest example in our day now...I use to allow what people post on their pages or their twitter affect me...Now I have learned that "Offences Will Come"....Yes no matter how pretty u put ur words trying not to offend someone as I do...It never fells someone gets offended...What is even more interesting is the person offended is usually not willing to tell u that u offended them or they work so hard at trying to deny it that it seems to make them bitter within.  I have recently learned that the mind and body has and interrelationship which means if u allow an offence to make u bitter it can really make u sick! By that I mean physically, mentally, and emotionally. It affects ur entire being...Crazy huh?  I am aware that there are some things that probably should get under our skin and bring us to action...But there isn't one perfect human on the face of this earth...I know we all wish we could be perfect...if u don't great, ur further ahead then me and I say to u keep pressing ur way!!! However as for me perfection is a dream or wish of mine...I have definitely figured out that it's gonna have to wait til later. So I am done chasing the perfection trail...Life seems to work better for me when I don't place unrealistic expectation on myself and others...So I am really working towards not judging people these days cause being judged isn't fun for me...I actually like grace so therefore I am practicing giving it.. Unfortunately the world doesn't work that way.  Even fellow believers haven't really practiced showing the same grace that they would like to receive.  This should be no surprise to me because Jesus warned us of this in Matthews and Luke...it may be in there somewhere else and if u find it please send me the references...Yes Jesus tells us that "Offences Will Come" Proverbs 18:19  tells us that a "brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle." How true this is! I am noticing the ones I offend no matter what I do or say...So I have taken myself off of the hook of Offences because it is the Bait that Satam uses. So if by chance u are someone I have offended with something that I posted, commented, or blogged in our great world of social networking forgive me....and remember "Offences Will Come" and it's up to u how it will affect your relationship with God and ur future... 

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For My Good

A few days ago I decided 2 actually listen 2 the song "For My Good" by the christian rapper Triplee....Now before u run 2 youtube and look him up be reminded that he is a rapper...I know that there are some out there who will shut a song off because they don't like the style of music...I say that because I use 2 be anti-rap for many years but now I know that sometimes the message hidden in the song is much more valuable then the style of it... I can honestly tell u that I have heard this song several times before but would skip it over because I didn't like the style of it....However because I really enjoy music and always have, God sometimes speaks 2 me in a song...Just weeks before I actually took the time 2 listen 2 the words of the song, I was just asking God: "How was what I was going through right now going 2 work out for my good according 2 Romans 8:28?" I know in this day and time some don't like 2 admit that they talk 2 God but not me...I talk 2 Him daily... If I didn't I may not be in my right mind today cause let's face it: we can be a friend but we don't always relate 2 a persons struggles. In fact if u haven't been through what they are going through at that moment u can't relate. U can't give what u don't have....After listening 2 the words of the song "For My Good" I was taken on a journey to my past....I realized that most of the awful things that have happened 2 me has literally worked out "For My Good". Which in turn gave me a hope that what I was going through right now was going 2 work out (dare I confidently say "For My Good?). I have actually at this present time been dealing with issues of rejection....I know we all deal with things differently...But I still sometimes try 2 process in my mind how rejection come about....I just don't understand it like most... Some people can let it roll off of them like water and keep their heads up. Not me.....2 me rejection is like Divorce...or as though the person who is or has rejected u is spitting u out...I know that I have even done it 2 people myself..... Still I don't get it! I've experienced it most of my life and I am sure some of u out there have as well...In fact I am certain all of u have experienced rejection at some point in ur lives...My question is how does it happen? I am still trying 2 figure out what it is about me that can sometimes intimidates a person...I know that not everyone is for me or meant 2 be in my life...But when u have been in a place for years surrounded by some of the same people for years and they can still spit u out how do u process that? Like I said I don't get it! I know that we are 2 protect ourselves from those that aren't good for us but how about when they aren't a threat 2 u and u have done ur best 2 be a person of love 2 them and still they spit u out? I tell u it just doesn't seem 2 be registering in my mind...Can anybody out there relate 2 my suffering? I can say that I know even this 2 will pass and work out "For My Good" but it doesn't take away the pain while I am going through the process of it...My prayer is that while I am going through it, that I come out GOLD!  and that I never allow the wounds of another cause me 2 retaliate in return...Because everything reproduces after it's kind...I don't want 2 be one who rejects a person who needs 2 feel loved and accepted cause I never know when I will need 2 be loved and accepted...I don't want 2 be one who makes a person feel as though they don't belong because I know every one belongs somewhere. I don't want 2 be the person who blows up and takes things out on others cause something isn't going my way cause I don't like it when it happens 2 me...No....I want a heart like God...One who loves with the foreknowledge that people are going 2 hurt me no matter what I do or say...I am waiting for this 2 work out "For My Good!"

Priceless

Nineteen years ago no one prepared me 2 be a mother...I had no idea the journey I would take with my firstborn....I was 16 when I conceived her(not recommended by the way) and was completely overwhelmed when I found out I was pregnant. I knew I wasn't  ready 2 be a mother at such a young age... But now as I look back  the only thing I would change is my age when I conceived her...I wouldn't even change who she was conceived by because if I did that I wouldn't have the priceless jewel that I have now. I would have a different one. And after the journey she and I have taken I wouldn't want a different jewel then the one I have now....There are a lot of things I wish I could go back and redo, but when it comes 2 my children I see them as perfect, unique, and divinely created 2 share a small part of their lives with me... I can remember almost every moment with her as though it were a movie...Fortunately for me it is apart of my memory bank and I can make withdrawals any time I need a reminder of how precious the moments with her were for me...On October 5, 1992 I gave birth 2 a very preemie baby girl! I named her Antonia Shanel. She was 4lbs and had 2 be in an incubator for the first 2 weeks of her life...I didn't even get 2 see her til she was 2 days old and didn't get 2 hold her until she was 3 days old...I had no idea the power of the mother child connection at that time...I say this because in those 3 days my high blood pressure spiked up and she refused 2 eat during that time...It wasn't until they allowed her 2 hear my voice and be in my arms did she begin 2 eat for her nurses and my blood pressure returned 2 normal...After what the 2 of us had been through during her delivery I guess we just needed 2 make sure we were both ok...Isn't that just amazing?? I think so...Through out the years we have went through it...And it is a lovingly long story! Which I won't take u through cause remember it is a memory I can replay at any time...Now I must prep myself 2 send her out 2 explore her life without me and let me tell u if u haven't been through it u have no idea the emotional wear and tear letting go can take on a mothers heart...I am grateful that she wasn't one that was so ready 2 leave home and start her own life right away..She was very gracious 2 her mother and stayed one more year...and I don't actually know if it was for me but it sure feels better for me 2 see it that way...the reason I titled this blog as Priceless is because that is literally the meaning of her name...I had no idea names had meanings I was a teenager I wanted something that sounded neat and was different from the norm. I didn't know I was actually giving her a name that would fit her perfectly...My daughter is Priceless I will miss her dearly but she has given me more reason then one 2 smile on her achievements...She didn't really crossed the line 2 much as a teenager and for the most part was very obedient...Still today she respects and honors her parents...I could go on and on about the Priceless jewel that God blessed me with...but if u don't know her u just wouldn't understand just how Priceless she really is....So here I go in 6 days my Princess will be leaving home 2 learn how 2 be an adult without MOMMY! yes my baby still calls me mommy....And I am strong now but u may want 2 ask me how I am doing next month...I am about 2 officially be the only female in my home! so keep me in ur prayers or shall I say keep my hubby and 2 sons in ur prayers?  If u know my daughter be sure and get ur see ya laters in...we don't say Goodbye in our family...we say see ya later....