where people can see your heart or rather the person that u are, apart from your appearance, status, job, or titles...I remember thinking
how in the world is that possible?...U see my childhood wasn't the greatest and I will tell u why...not because I haven't let go of somethings
or because I am holding on 2 unforgiveness in my life. But sometimes u have 2 take a minute 2 reflect back over your
life and come 2 terms with the person u are at this present time...u know 2 make sense of it all or the things that u have been through, going through,
or haven't discovered your going 2 go through. I remember growing up and 2 me it seemed as though I was the target to be picked on....Now I know
at the time, I wasn't the only kid being bullied in grade school and Jr high, but it sure felt like it. Not only did I get it at school but I got it at home
2. Seemed like I just couldn't get it right or be this perfect person that would be liked or even admired. So when I would get moments alone and no
one was there 2 make fun of me or threaten 2 jump me with 3 other people standing behind them 2 join in. I would dream of the life I wanted 2 have...
I know u may say: "u can't tell me that u never made fun of anyone or bullied them" and your right I can't. No denying it...but how many of u out there know
that the very thing that u hate, u tend 2 take a joy ride on the train that leads u right 2 it?..So I am not here 2 portray 2 u as though I am someone who is above
mistakes. I can tell u that I did my fair share of damage..Only not in the magnitude that it was done 2 me. So by the time I hit High school I got 2 the point where
I was just numb 2 it all. Meaning I learned 2 live with it...By then I knew that when I walked in front of the crowd no matter what i did they were going 2 find something wrong
about me...Funny how it sticks with u isn't it(Words)? What's even more funny is that the people that once made my life a living nightmare changed and became great people.
Well at least I hope they have. I can't say for certain, but I can sure hope that they finally grew up. All I can tell u for certain is that I have and I'm still growing. So as I matured in life and got
away from my nightmare due 2 a crazy series of events. I made up in my mind then that I would be someone's reason....At the time I had no idea what that would entail. I just
knew I wanted 2 be different! Which I guess as I look back I've always been just that.. Because I wasn't allowed 2 technically date till I made it 2 high school and even then
now that I think of it, my mother still wasn't so comfy about it.. Now that I am a mother myself I understand why she shielded me from some things. I wasn't appreciative
for it then but I am now. Words can't begin 2 express my gratitude and love towards the woman God chose 2 be my mother...She had her flaws like any other person, but she gave
me the best that she could with what she was given....It's amazing how in life u get 2 make choices for yourself, but u don't get 2 dish up what u want or don't want. U simply
have 2 take the plate that is served 2 u...And I don't know about u but sometimes I don't like the sides that I have been served...Cause the ones that I didn't want are extremely
hard 2 digest. So as I do my best 2 wrap this blog up and tell u 'The Reason I Do What I Do.. Allow me 2 tell u some of the things that I do...One of my best features I can say
have come from all that I have been through: is my ability 2 truly love people..Now 2 some, the way I love them isn't their idea of love. But please believe me when I say I love
hard: meaning I give it my all but I also hurt hard: meaning it really breaks my heart. It took a wise friend of mine 2 help me see this about me. I am so grateful that he cared
enough 2 just give it 2 me straight...I admire him for just that small key he shared about me. I love people because earlier in my life I wanted love the way I could
understand it. Not the way someone else thought that I would or the way they feel it. And that just seem 2 be the way it is these days...people only give u what they have 2 give.
There are some however who still take, but there are still some out there that give it their all. I am one of those that give it my all. I don't really retaliate much cause I figure what is the point? Really
if u have 2 do all that there is no real significant reward. My reward is always the relationship that I form with the people that I love. So 'The Reason I Do What I Do is simply
2 be LOVED and LIVE out those dreams of mine...How about u what is your reason???
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